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Saturday, July 10, 2010

Prayer and Red Paint

Hi bloggy friends.  I haven't been around much lately -- lots going on for the Smitten Family, resulting in little time to play.  Bummer.

Big things on the horizon.  We're moving.  Somewhere.  The stress comes in distinguishing where that somewhere will end up being, as there are several opportunities/options in the mix right now.  We may be moving thousands of miles from "home", or maybe more like 50, to an arctic climate or a tropical one, and there is little else I can focus on but the giant, anvil-like question mark lingering over our heads right now.

We'll know more in the week ahead, but friends... can I be honest here?  I'm terrified.  So much to consider, so many unknowns, regardless of which direction we go.  The stress and worry is exhausting, the fear and anxiety somewhat paralyzing.

I'm an adventure-lover, a nomad, and a pretty flexible kinda chick.  I can bloom where I'm planted better than anyone I know, and yet, this particular crossroads has me so off-kilter I can hardly set my mind on anything else.

I'll find my footing, I know I will.  And in the grand scheme of life happenings, this one, I know, is minor and not at all tragic, and I should shut my mouth and be grateful that we have things like job interviews and opportunities and options on the horizon.  Still, though, if you're the praying sort, and you've got the time, would you utter one for me?  I need some serious wisdom and guidance and a little Divine Intervention wouldn't hurt at all.  Wouldn't life be easier if God just lit up a giant neon arrow over the right choice... if He gave us a road map of obedience and good choices?  You know... turn here, move there, take this job, stay far away from this church, get to know this person, leave this door closed... and so on?

I know... easier yes, but less fulfilling.  We're blessed that He knows what we don't... that we are given the chance to exercise faith.  And now, my faith-legs are just peddling as hard as they can.  Still, I'm lost in a cloudy sort of haze of choices... pushing and pulling against my own human understanding, and I'm tired, and scared, and impatient.

And the only solution I can think of is prayer and a can of red paint, so here I go to indulge in a little of both.

Thanks for listening.  <3

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Your comments are such an encouragement. Thank you for sharing your valuable words.