Here's the deal, folks. We're in a waiting game. A really, really long waiting game... or so it seems.
The stress of the big-decision-making dissolved when Husband and I looked at each other and realized, simultaneously, it seems, that we could really alleviate the weight of the world we had been so bravely complaining endlessly about, by giving it up completely and stepping foot into where we ought to be anyway -- NOT in the driver's seat. We prayed for clarity and for guidance, passed around some angsty worry, and then, simply turned it over to the One who is in control... He who is so much more equipped for that sort of thing.
The decision was made, and we did not have to choose. That was a good feeling. The kind of feeling that reminds me, though I ought not to be surprised, that I really don't have the tools to be in charge of my own life. Sorry, but thats just a fact, folks. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but neither do you. : / It's true.
Anyway, the stress is gone and the peace has arrived. The trouble, now, is with patience. Being willingly out of control means that I do what I can do and then stand back and let the rest unfold. Standing around... being quiet... waiting... all that is pretty hard for this go-go-go girl. On a good day, I can't even watch a movie without simultaneously doing something else. And the Jeopardy theme song that seems to be incessantly playing in the background of my head can really make a girl crazy while the time passes... tick, tick, tick, tick, and the unknown is still out there making neener-neener faces at me.
Did I say the peace has arrived? Well, it would, if I would let it. Stubborn, stubborn girl I am. Stubborn, and impatient. Bad combo.
All this nervous waiting has really stifled my creativity. Self-obsession can do that. Take my word for it, wontcha? I'd like to have been using all this free time on my plate to really soar with all the creative projects I could be doing right now, and maybe this post is a kick in my own butt to do just that. What's the point of waiting around for life to happen to me when I've got a million smile-worthy things I could be doing?
Stop yer whinin', Whimsy. Get to it.