We look at each other and we know, wordless, that we have come to an end, toes edged right up against all that we can take in this moment. There is a terrible reality hanging in the air, the kind of moment when all you can think is this can’t be happening. But it is. And we keep on breathing through it.
But there we stand, the mix of fear and worry and exhaustion painted plainly on our faces, suddenly aged beyond our years, silent before the Lord that only knows how the rest of this story will go. And I am struck by the sight of us there and more than the weight of the horror is the weight of what stands out to me in this heightened moment – our togetherness. Lovely though they were, the rings and vows and wedding guests dabbing at their tears that marriage-day seem so futile now, in this, in the face of real. ugly. painful. scary. life.
This is commitment. This is love.
Standing soul-bare, side-by-side and I have never been so empty.
And I have never been so full.
It occurs to me only here, only just now and in the hollow quiet of this barren moment that at the bottom of fear and loss and emptiness is only awareness of what remains when there is nothing else.
In this moment I see that the strong love is the quiet love. The love that fears together and wonders together and laughs together and sits quietly together when there are no more words to be said. Love is the practice of love’s presence.
This broken girl is two kinds of bride all at once and imperfectly running toward renewal at both altars -- altars of faith and of matrimony, covered over by the love that is action and the love that is left over in emptiness, running over in abundance.
Linking to:
"covered over by the love that is action and the love that is left over in emptiness, running over in abundance."
ReplyDeletepraying you will rest under the cover of Love all the more as you run to renewal at both altars.
In this moment I see that the strong love is the quiet love.
ReplyDeletei am tucking this so deep, for our marriage has worn thin these past few days due to my impatience and my hormones. thank you so much for this beautiful post. xo
It seems like the deepest things are fraught with tension.
ReplyDelete"I have never been so empty.
And I have never been so full"
Quiet love - that doesn't have to speak - just be! One of my favorite kinds of love! But, oh, how you caught me with "two kinds of brides . . .running to. . . the alter of faith and matrimony." That says it all! Simply Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your beautiful, encouraging words. Oh, how I wish Blogger would let me reply directly to each comment.
ReplyDeleteRe-reading this, it appears to me that the trouble I addressed in this post was marital -- alas, it is not, not at this moment. Though we've had our fair share of that, in case there is confusion, it is the strength of my marriage that stood out so well against the struggles of (seemingly) everything else.
"Love is the practice of love's presence.". I am so thankful for your beautiful, powerful words. Thank you--so humbled and grateful.
ReplyDeleteI stumbled upon your blog today and have SO enjoyed reading your words and thoughts. I am inspired. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI stumbled upon your blog today and have SO enjoyed reading your words and thoughts. I am inspired. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your beautiful, encouraging words. Oh, how I wish Blogger would let me reply directly to each comment.
ReplyDeleteRe-reading this, it appears to me that the trouble I addressed in this post was marital -- alas, it is not, not at this moment. Though we've had our fair share of that, in case there is confusion, it is the strength of my marriage that stood out so well against the struggles of (seemingly) everything else.
It seems like the deepest things are fraught with tension.
ReplyDelete"I have never been so empty.
And I have never been so full"
What a sweet and wonderful thing to say. Thanks for stopping by!
ReplyDelete