And Now...For Something Different. A WhimsySmitten Home Tour

When I started this blog a few years ago, I did so as a place to document and share my crafty/decorative projects. We were living on a 300-acre ranch back then, last updated in 1974, and a great deal of my creative energy was being spent in making avocado shag carpet and harvest gold countertops look like we wanted them there, while working with a budget of basically nothing. I was also making a little cash by repurposing old furniture and hosting a booth at a crafty retail store.

As my circumstances changed, I let this place morph along with them and began to unfold the work of my heart into these posts, and not just the work of my hands. It became a refuge for words and thoughts as I worked out in print all the things God was doing, and this it still is and still shall be.

Every once in awhile, though, I get the itch to return to my roots, so to speak. We moved into a new place this past December and in January declared 2012 my year of Home. That has turned out to mean something entirely different than I had imagined when I embarked on that journey, but we're rolling with the punches. Despite the total chaos of the recent days, what with the two new babies, friends in from out of state, getting a new (to me) car, and signing a book contract, my house is sorta clean every so often, and I have to capture those moments for prosperity.

Without further ado, here's a taste of something different -- a WhimsySmitten home tour, Instagram style.

Welcome.

Kitchen

Dining Room

Living Room 1

Living Room 2

Living Room 3

Girls' Room

Boys' Room 1

Boys' Room 2

Master Bedroom

Office

It's not the well-crafted home tour with great photography that I'd intended, but it's the quick and easy way to show you my home in the midst of mi vida loca. Hope you enjoyed it! Now, when you comin' over for a visit?  

What I'm Saying No To Now

A few weeks ago, I declared a year of no.

It was necessary, and so far, it has served me well.

Sometimes, no feels like freedom.  

Sometimes, the ability to say no allows some amazing yeses into your life.

Part of no is letting go.  And so, in the interest of disclosure, there are a few things I need to tell you, a little bloggy business to get out of the way so I can clean my plate.

-- in{RL}

I love {in}courage.  Like, really really love them.  If there is anywhere in the world that I feel at home, in words and in flesh, it's there.  I love the women, I love the heart, I love that Jesus is all over that place in the ways I recognize Him best.  And I'm excited about what they're doing this year for in{RL}, the un-conference -- the conference that comes to you and opens doors and opens homes and builds relationships.  It's beautiful and the idea is necessary and wonderful and I jumped the gun and signed up to host a local gathering right out of the starting gate.  I had big visions for this, friends, big dreams related to how I would use in{RL} to connect locally, to reach out and reach in and my head got carried away and my heart got lost in the midst of it and now a scheduling conflict and… well, it's time to exercise that "no" button… time to lay it down, this time.  Will you fill me in on what a lovely time you have at in{RL} this April?

-- Definition

Once upon a time, I started this blog as a crafty place, a home décor blog to showcase DIY projects and decorating.  (What?  Who knew?)  Yeah.  Obviously, I haven't done much of this lately.  This place became something more, something different, a place to bleed my heart all over and process all these daily journeys.  It bugs me that the name of my blog is so ill-fitting, and I've fussed and toyed with the idea of splitting off, of leaving this place for home décor and the like, and starting a new place for the overflow of the heart, but this seems to be the substance of this place and I don't want to mess with what works.  A break-off might come, still.  Home décor might come, still.  For now, though, I'm just letting this wonky place be whatever it is and I hope you find bits and pieces of whatever brings you over this way.

-- Control

Or, the illusion of control of my health.  It's been a weird road the last few months with fibromyalgia and other chronic health conditions I'm struggling with.  I've been sick and sicker and spiraling downhill quickly.  Because I'm a control freak, I've tried to head this off at the pass, convincing myself that I could alter my experience with a certain exercise program, with dietary restrictions, with this or with that because it feels a lot like weakness to admit that I have to rely on prescription medication to get me through the day.  But… I'm weak.  And in the interest of strengthening my life as well as my health, I'm going to take it day by day and swallow down whatever it is that gets me through without making this my fault… acknowledging that perhaps, I don't have much control over this aspect of my life and it's time to lay it down and learn the lessons that come along with the unexpected gift of chronic illness, not the least of which is that we are not ultimately in control of these bodies, this life.

-- Spiritual Should-Do's

Do you have spiritual should-do's in your life?  Things you think you should do because as a Christian, it's what's expected of you or puts some kind of check mark on some cosmic checklist of goodness?  I do.  This is not holy, it's not biblical, and it's not necessary, but it's one of the lies I believe about the ways in which I do not measure up.  I struggle with it and sometime I'll get around to working out all of how my year in Texas fit into that and what I learned in that regard.  Coming to Oregon meant leaving full-time ministry and there's a big checklist hovering over my head lately… a guilt about where my ministry is now that I'm just a regular working mom getting through the week and not pouring every minute of my life into "the least of these".  I feel just a little spiritually less than lately, and this is only a lie that I believe.  I am coming to learn that this place is a ministry, that being here for my children is a ministry and that, while I will be asked to do other things for the sake of the Kingdom, I cannot give what I haven't received, and part of being a disciple is experiencing rest and grace and learning when you need to be filled.  So my spiritual should-do's are on hold while I learn to be filled that I can someday spill over with what I've been given, not out of duty but because I simply cannot contain it.

-- Technology

I admit, like the rest of the world, I am getting more and more attached to the technology that I am ever tethered to.  My phone at my hip while my hands are on the keyboard at work and I've got Facebook and Twitter and Blogger and Netflix and Audible all streaming information to me at the speed of light.  I have a stack of books I'm dying to read, and ones I've committed to read and review, but can't manage to find the time to read them.  I'm trading tech time for page time and hoping to reconnect with my love of books, time outside and away from the screen, and the concreteness that comes with reading books in print (and sorry, I just haven't been able to get on the Kindle/Nook/eReader bandwagon yet.  I need the touch and the smell of real books!).  

That's all I've got the energy for today, friends, but thanks for sticking with me through these brain-dead and disconnected thoughts.  

What are you saying no to, today? 

What the Calendar Remembers

Snow has dusted our little cottage on the hill and, though I am (sorry) not a big fan of snow, it sure looks cozy around here today.  And the beauty pulls me from my funk a bit, even if I'm tender-hearted, tired, and a little full-headed today.

While MLK day is historically of course a very important, impactful day to observe, in my heart's own little personal world, it tends to be a day of tragic anniversaries.  Californians may recall it as Northridge Quake day, an ominous one for my family because of our proximity to the epicenter that day, decades ago… the way our hotel buckled and shook while walls imploded and concrete bridges collapsed within earshot and we sat, only children, barefoot in a dark broken parking lot with hands over ears from the car alarms blasting, watching gas tanks firework in the distance and drinking beer from dented cans to combat the shock because it’s the only thing we knew to do when the world was crumbling beneath our feet.  But this earthquake-shy girl is tender, too, today remembering beautiful, full-of-life young friends lost to the world on this day, a few years apart, and other small slivers from MLK-Mondays past that have wedged their way inside.  I am sobered to remember how tragedy strikes hard on promise-filled days and always without warning, and deliberate to remember, too, that it's all redemptive, even the hardest parts, and that the day reflects, too, a man's Dream of a better world. 

So the sky is expansive this Monday for the snow and the way a calendar reminds.  But I aim to see today more for what it is than what it represents in a head that catalogues joys and sorrows and assigns arbitrary meaning when I am too small, really, to see what He sees here, by each thread that weaves together the whole big story, snowflake by snowflake. 

 My thoughts have lingered on small sorrows from days past and I breathe deep and break through it, snapped back to the present like the close of a flashback scene in a television drama.  Today there are no death-tears, no broken windows or broken hearts or earthquake rubble.  There is only love, and snow, and a house in the process of becoming home.

Under blankets, we nurse coughs and sniffles around the cottage, and kids in jammies look wistfully toward the thinning snow, but mom shakes her head and serves up cherry-flavored syrup that protects little throats and twists little faces into grimace.  This is what mothers do, even when my heart would rather soak up fits of snowball-fight laughter than read temperature gauges and dosing instructions, today, but love is love all the same and I'll take it as a fevered head upon my lap when that's the way it comes.

 Friday will be housewarming around here, and I will focus on what needs doing now until then, when friends and laughter fill this place because, after all, no amount of paint or picture-hanging can make a home, can it?  Only the footprints of loved ones in the carpet and the love that leaks out of mouths and brings the odd combination of plaster and wood and food and joy and fabric and words and tears and memories together to make a place home.  

First, my gratitudes today…. with Ann… and always compiling, stockpiling, yet still without numbers, since I stick them always in journals and lists, phone apps and scrap papers and have lost the composure to keep a system of numbering in place.  It is possible to count without numbers, I've discovered, and so, I do:

- Gentle snow that is tangible peace, falling like manna.

- Cough syrup, and a hacky toddler willing to drink it.

- Kids visiting grandma's yesterday, some quiet to work on my creative space.

- Kids back home now, where they belong.

- My desk space set-up, inviting and so "me".

- My laundry room to crafty space conversion, progress made.

- A husband who encourages me, some days, to leave the dishes in the sink because he sees me for who I am and not only what I do.

- The quiet cacophony of the life I wished for and got in abundant measure.

- My children that love and even like each other, most days.

- A few unexpected work transitions that have me enjoying my day job much more lately.

- A compassionate boss.

- Winter sniffles that slow our pace a bit.

- Our Compassion International sponsored child, Muhayimpundu, in Rwanda.

- My husband's old land cruiser project, a creative outlet for the man who puts us all before himself so often.

- My children having health insurance and a doctor we trust.

- Words With Friends - a tiny bit of intellectual stimulation in the midst of my brain-mush days.

- Being asked to collaborate on a totally foreign-to-me writing project that inspires creativity in new ways.

- My daughter's love and compassionate heart for cultures different than her own.

- A working vacuum cleaner.

And, as if this post isn't long enough, and because I value the accountability I find here (since it lights a fire under my butt to get things moving):  A list of things I'd like to accomplish around the house pre-housewarming/late birthday party (items in italics are things I need Mr. Smitten's help with): 

January House to Home Project List

- Whole house clean - kitchen, bedrooms, living areas, bathrooms

- Break down and repurpose or burn remaining moving boxes

- Finish setting up desk area.

- Make vinyl quote for desk/office wall

- Make/hang misc. wall art for desk/office wall.

- Hang curtains behind bed.

- Buy curtain rod and hang curtains across slider in master bedroom

- Buy curtain rod for master bathroom and hang curtains

- Hang 'love' banner in master bedroom

- Bring white chair in from garage for master bathroom dressing area

- Bring extension cords into master bath for heater

- Hang towels that match master bath (label)

- Empty hall closet, set up mail/bill pay/filing area inside

- Move desk from boys' room into master; move mirror from garage onto desk in master

- Clean/unpack entry way boxes/misc., mop tile floor

- Empty black hutch

- Bring vintage stove into dining room; move black computer hutch into boys' room.

- Bring big filing cabinet into garage

- Bring smaller filing cabinet inside and swap out files from big one

- Clean K's room and consolidate stuffed animals/toys, take box to garage or donate.

- Bring remaining books in from garage, put away in hallway bookshelves.

- Find/replace missing knobs on coffee table drawers.

- Take legs (and doors?) off sideboard and make entry table by back door

- Hang hooks over sideboard for coat hanger

- Bring in antique radio

- Hang some wall décor in master bathroom.

- Unpack boxes in hallway

- Hang hallway photo gallery

- Empty laundry room, bring black dresser and cubby bookshelf inside

- Decorate laundry space

- Set-up and organize craft supplies/creative space

- Wrap cardboard boxes & label them for decorative craft storage

- Clean living room and entry hall overflow piles

May love find you today, dear friend.  Thanks for reading.  

Stuff-less

Photo Source: Pinterest.

I am living out of a suitcase.  

My three children are sharing a full-size bed and just about all of our belongings are shoved in a 10’ x 20’ storage unit, balanced dangerously and teetering hither and yon.  To make it worse, we unloaded the moving truck in the dark and several of the items that were meant to stay out of storage (um, like, checkbooks and passports, business cards and stamps, conference tickets and cute dresses and school supplies) were packed away and buried in the rubble... and no luck so far on trying to retrieve any of it without completely unpacking the darn thing.

This is unnerving, especially because, after much scramble regarding employment here in Oregon, we’ve determined that, although we are blessed beyond measure to both be gainfully employed (and for me to work at home – hallelujah!), for several reasons, we’re better off staying put at my mother-in-law’s house for awhile.

Like, staying a few months when I was really banking on (and packing for) a few weeks.

I am having a hard time rolling with the punches on this one.

Not because I don’t like being here.  Actually, I love, love, love my in-laws and couldn’t really think of any place I’d rather have to shack up like teenage parents (which, for the record, we're decades away from being).  But living in someone else's home goes against my very strong instinct to nest (no, I’m not pregnant) and putz about, fluffing this and straightening that, hanging curtains and wall decor, introducing my DIY-creations to their proper locations... and making a home.  And my guilty conscience makes it hard to feel like I'm okay here, that I'm not being a burden, or stepping on toes, or creating a hassle for anyone. 

The antidote to living in transition is, for me, to settle down and make a home.

Alas, I cannot.

This year, I will probably not get to decorate my home for Christmas.  I will not bake in my own kitchen, or set up my office to watch my kids run around the back yard while I work.  I will find, several times every day, that the outfit or nail polish or legal document I desperately need is packed away and I’ll have to live without it.

A few tears were shed when I realized that my Bible, devotional, current Bible study, and favorite commentary also managed to get (accidentally) packed away.  Six days without my Bible was remedied by six bucks at a local bookstore, and had me sniffing the pages and holding the thing close to my heart, soaking up the Scriptures even with closed covers, filling with the words inside like osmosis, gripping the paperback make-do like the precious possession that it is.

I’ll be heading to Relevant ’11 in a few weeks, and, bummer, despite my plans for a put-together-girl on display, it looks like I’ll have to head out there with just the comfy clothes I had packed for a few weeks at grandmas.  No high heels.  No cute jewelry.  Some jeans, my camera, and a pair of gray Chuck Taylor’s are about all I’ll wind up there with, I’m afraid.  You’ll love me anyway, won’t you?

I’m taking the opportunity to prove to myself all the things I can live without when I really need to, to count it blessing that we have this opportunity and that our belongings are only temporarily in storage and not incinerated in a house fire, or vandalized in a burglary.  It’s all only stuff, after all.  So I’ll rejoice in less cooking and house cleaning for the time (since I have others to share that responsibility with here).  It will be good for my soul, too, to go to Relevant without knowing anyone, and wearing no disguise – just me, myself, and my Chucks to show y’all the real Slim Shady Whimsy Smitten, in my grubby-girl finest.  Something tells me I’ll be welcomed with open arms anyway, and that, my friends, will do a girl good.

Counting, still numberless, today, all the gifts that keep on giving.  Linking up with Ann, and all the others counting, counting away. 

-          Husband, hired!

-          Starting work myself soon (later this week, probably).

-          The graciousness of my in-laws.

-          Our anniversary on Thursday, six years of marriage, ten years together.

-          Reading A Confident Heart by Renee Swope.

-          An opportunity to learn more about simplicity.

-          Conference tickets that are re-printable.

-          Being able to afford a plane ticket to Pennsylvania and a hotel room at Relevant, even while being in between jobs and during a tight financial time for us.

-          A beautiful drive this weekend, soaking up the beauty here I’ve missed for so long.

-          Discovering an omission error in my husband’s veteran’s benefits documentation that will be $150 in our favor every single month for the rest of my husband’s life.

-          My kids absolutely loving being at their new/old school.

-          Hot, middle-of-the-afternoon coffee, and weather chilly enough to enjoy it.

-          So much peace and family time, lately.

-          My kids, getting to spend time on a regular basis now with their grandparents and great-grandparents.

-          Our boys back in Texas, apparently doing okay with the transition of new houseparents.

-          Returning to our home church again yesterday.

-          Big, busy dinners, full of laughter… and lots of leftovers.  

-          Provision, in all the ways it comes.