{This post is actually a continuation of a personal Facebook thread
in which I posted a link to this blog post. The responses I received were from varied
perspectives and highly charged on all sides. This issue is important to me, so I appreciate your time in considering it prayerfully.}
I do not write this lightly, as I wept over the responses
this Facebook post got. Actually fell to my knees in the middle of Barnes and Noble,
phone in hand, and cried hot tears. I'll tell you why in a second. First, I
need to clarify a couple of things, so as not to be misunderstood. I shared
this link as exactly what it was – a powerful story about a family's experience
with conversion therapy (a method of "curing" gayness that a lot of
churches support). I disgree with this method since at its core is the teaching
that homosexuality is caused by something lacking in the father-son
relationship (something that research shows to be false and damaging, and in my
opinion, is just plain hurtful). I strongly disagree with a church
supporting/teaching conversion therapy. I made no indication, statement, judgment,
or position on whether homosexuality was right or wrong. None. Nor did I
represent anything anyone else said as a Christian perspective. However, I am
Christian, and that was my perspective about conversion therapy, on a public
forum in which we are free to share thoughts and opinions, Scripture verses,
prayer requests, barbeque invitations, or whatever we fancy. It's the same hard-earned
freedom which allows us to worship Jesus openly that also allows this man and
others to share their words and hurts.
I shared one man's perspective and experience, a man whose
perspective is no less important than yours or mine. I do not believe to do so
calls into question my Christianity, rather I believe that to show active love,
to learn how to love like Jesus, means to listen to and acknowledge the
experiences of those who are feeling like outcasts, those who have been told
they aren't welcome in church. Being listened to is a way to be loved,
practically speaking, and I'd wager a guess that if more of the homosexual
community felt like the church was willing to listen and support rather than
condemn, we'd see many more gay individuals coming to Christ.
Since it was suggested that I may not be familiar with what
Scripture has to say about homosexuality, please be assured that I do. I know
well what both the Old Testament and the New Testament say, as well as Christ's
silence on the particular topic. I do believe the Bible is
the inspired Word of God, as I also believe that to study it is to also study
the historical background of it, the original languages it was written in, the meaning of the traditions and such, and to
not take it out of context. The Scriptures condemning homosexuality also
condemn wearing mixed fibers and eating certain fish, but I don't know any
Evangelical churches ostracizing polyester pantsuits. I'm very grateful
personally that Jesus taught about the dangers of living under religious law
instead of freedom, which helps me understand that keeping the Levitical laws
holds no weight in regard to my salvation and access to unconditional love,
grace, and forgiveness.
I know all the relevant Scripture and have studied the Greek
and Hebrew in modern translations and ancient ones, with historical
implications, and have studied a smattering of theology on the issue, from
various viewpoints, in order to help my gay friends get to the bottom of the topic.
I am more acquainted with the Bible's standpoint on homosexuality than most
Christians you know… I promise, and to be fair, arguments can be made for
several positions on the issue, all of which I understand. I won't debate
theology with anyone here, mostly because this is the Internet and not seminary,
but also because I doubt it will matter. We may have different ideas about this
position. It does not mean we don't both love Jesus.
But again, I did not take a stance in the above post on
whether homosexuality was okay or sinful or anything else. I never will. I am
not God and until I reach the day where my own eyes are plankless, I won't
attempt to let my moral standards have authority over someone else's life.
Scripture warns me of the consequences of doing so. It is only the Holy Spirit that
can convict us of our failures, and I am so glad that I was shown agape love by
Christian friends that caused me to first want to know and understand God's
love as an outsider, and only after that could I care anything about His law. I
have read the Bible cover to cover, in several translations, and studied it in depth.
What I have found every. single. time. in every. single. translation is the
same, and it is this:
I have been given a greater responsibility, along with all Christians,
to show love than anybody else. I follow a man (God), who taught that love was
the most important thing and that without it, we are nothing but "clanging
cymbals". Sadly, a lot of my friends will never set foot in a church or whisper
a prayer because they can't hear love over the clanging, because God has only
ever been portrayed to them as hateful. Those of us who intimately know Christ
know that in Him is freedom and grace. I want my gay friends to know my Jesus.
I care more about their soul than their sex life, and I believe strongly that He
does too. I believe that Jesus, friend of sinners, would build a bridge of love
before attempting to deal with lifestyle. Jesus saw to the heart of a person
and it is my prayer that I can do so, too.
A popular Christian catch phrase on the gay topic is
"hate the sin but love the sinner." What I want to know…what many of my
gay friends want to know…is what that means for you on a practical level. HOW
is the church, how are you and I, as the body loving the sinner? What are we
doing to make Christ attractive to our gay brothers and sisters? Are we hearing
them? Are we listening? Are we wrapping arms around them, showing them the
grace we've been given? Do we care about anything more than their sex life? I
hope my answer will be yes. I believe to love like Christ means to open the
dialogue, to not generalize gays or claim to know everything about them because
of one aspect of their lives. I am a sinner saved by grace and I believe that
is available for all people who choose it.
Here's what sent me to my knees in tears in the middle of
the bookstore on a Monday afternoon. I have many gay friends, some of whom are
seeking truth actively. What they will see on my Facebook wall, between the
lines of all of this, is not that they are loved and welcomed, not that there
is room for them in the Christian community. They will see that they are
compared to murderers, drunks, and liars by the world's greatest lovers, and that several sides of the issue
will bear their teeth over a stranger's personal life. They will see that people
who don't know them at all are willing to speak out about their sex life, but not
about any other aspect of their beings. They will be reminded that there are
many churches they aren't welcomed in, that they can find hateful statements galore
by people whose greatest assignment is to love.
To the Christian friends/family who spoke out, I know the position of
many of you is that tough love is still love and it seems that you believe to
acknowledge or discuss homosexuality in any open way is to water down Scripture
or ignore the law of God. I understand the perspective and acknowledge it, but I
simply can't bring myself to see it this way. I have learned far more about the
love of Christ, about how to walk in love, by listening and exploring and acknowledging
people who are different from me than I ever have by starting the conversation
with a statement about their sin. Respectfully, I don't think it's how Jesus did
it or would do it now, and though I fail at it every day in many ways, I am
growing in my understanding of His love and making every effort to walk in it
through the grace I've been given. I will continue to share the perspectives of
people I believe need to be understood and I freely invite you not to read it
if it offends your values. In the same breath, I also invite you to (respectfully)
disagree with me. I want all my public spaces to be open doors for all people. It
doesn't mean we will agree, but I promise to always consider your perspective prayerfully.
I make the same promise to anyone who finds their way here. There are ways in
which we will adamantly disagree and I don't think our faith has to come into
question because we might approach it from a different perspective. To the
contrary, you teach me more about Jesus, you draw me to the Word and to my
knees for wisdom when we disagree. I appreciate given the freedom to speak my
truth and therefore honor everyone else's right to do the same.
It comes down to this for me. It breaks my heart that most
of my gay friends think Christians are hateful, condemning, religious, and
spiteful, when Jesus adamantly, passionately taught against all those things. It
is not only "God haters" who are giving Christianity a bad name. Plenty
of people, in Christ's name, are willing to loudly condemn and assign that
designation to the rest of us without our permission. I am the body, too, so I
am doing what I can to help bridge the gap between the church and the
homosexual community, in the interest of love. I do not have to make a judgment
call on someone's choices in order to love them. Listening to a gay person's
story, understanding their heart, acknowledging their hurt is not watering down
God's love (or His law) in any way. If I am willing to listen to them, show
them grace and understanding, there is hope that they will care about what my
heart holds too and prayerfully, that they'll eventually know the source of it intimately,
that they'll receive the love and grace and freedom I'm blessed to know. I hope
that makes things a bit clearer, and I invite my gay friends, my Christian
friends, and anyone else that wants to respectfully add to the conversation to
do so.
